Every so often I am pressed to write blindly without getting in the way of the words and this morning it happened again. So here is another word. ~John

My children of Love, desperate are you in times of strife. Lost you become in the moments of fear. It is the very moment of change, the very moment of decision, that has you in darkness. Many have told you and many soon will, that your decisions of chance must be outweighed by your decisions of choice. In choosing your fate so your fate is manifest. I/We are as one. I/We are as all. The experience of life and death is the experience of degrees of separation. When we live with out regard for the actions result, then we live blindly in the fold of a fog of fear.

When you boldly step into the present of your making then too will the present be your gift to self, your gift to me, your gift to us. Full expression of your creator self within is union with the source from which you feel separate. Find me within. Find the simple path. To seek for the outer road will lead you into the wilderness. For as you seek an outer road without regard of your creation, the road will be there for you to find and through the wilderness you will wonder. Release the gurus of your haphazard creation and be the source soul within. You are one with me and I you.  I AM the love from which you spark forth. I AM the source that you are.

My children of Love, my parent of Love, there is no difference. We are one. Your experience is of your choosing. Nothing in your experience or the experience of others is truly separate from self. Choices seem random or wrong but in faith they have been made manifest in your experience are always right. Tragic events are as unto the same as joyful ones. They Are. They are the experience of creation. They can seem separate from the person who creates them but in faith they created the experience. I speak unto you truth. All is as it should be and always will be. You are creating as you go.

Applaud the events that make you feel your separation fully. Sadness, Anger, Frustration, Remorse, are tools. Those who create those feelings are allowing you to experience your separation in a rich full way. Those that pass from your creation do so and should be allowed to pass as you continue your present moment march. Be grateful for the time. Remember the frustrations, disappointments, and sadness they brought you as well as the joys. To forget the lessons learned is blinding you from the lesson. But do not relive the lesson; once learned press forward into the joyful result.

My children of Love, Create.

“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.” ~Buddha

Are you happy where you are in life? If so, congratulations - you have received what everyone strives for. True happiness is the simple connection to the divine. Is there anything you would like to be different? If not, I applaud your creation. Your current moment is the residual effect of all of your past thoughts and actions. Where you sit now is the creation of your beliefs.

Are you less than happy where you are in life? Are some areas of your experience frustrating or difficult? Maybe they are just not fun. These feelings are a direct result of your belief. It is your belief that creates your experience. If I were to walk through life believing the words of my father, in this moment I would be on the streets living as a "bum," having a frustratingly difficult time of life, because my belief would be supported by my creation.

Take this moment right now to assess all areas of your life. Assess each area one at a time: Relationships, finances,  home environment. When you focus on an area what is your first feeling that comes over your body? That feeling is the signpost of your belief system. Does the thought of your relationships feel great? Does the mere mention of finances bring fear to the forefront? If you feel a negative (ie-anything other that a joyful happy feeling), then you have a belief that is keeping you in place and creating more of the same in the next moment. What is it in that negative experience that is the core of your belief?

Say I have my negative feeling surrounding finances. If I examine it closely I realize that the relationship I had with finances is a direct result of my parents' belief passed down. This is not to blame them, they came by thier belief system honestly from their parents. The question is what would happen to my finances if I changed this belief?

"It is your faith that heals you."~ Jeshua Ben Joseph

The responsibility of your experience falls solely upon your shoulders. If you believe that life is a struggle, then a struggle is what you will receive.  If you believe that life is easy and fun, then an easy and fun life you will receive. There is a statement I hear all the time that I think needs to be revisited: "Perception is reality." What we perceive we believe is the tenet of this statement. This statement and the belief in the truth of it, will perpetually keep us creating the same experience. What we are currently perceiving is the end product of our belief. Believing in that end product creates more end product and thus a dead end in our creation. The truer statement would be "what we believe we perceive."

Find the beliefs that have you feeling stuck or stagnant is all areas of your life, that have held you in place. Break that belief and set a new more positive belief. Hold that belief until you perceive the results in your experience. The life of your desire is a byproduct of faith.

“When we acknowledge that all of life is sacred and that each act is an act of choice and therefore sacred, then life is a sacred dance lived consciously each moment. When we live at this level, we participate in the creation of a better world.” ~Scout Cloud Lee

Last night someone very dear to me lost a close friend to suicide. I don't want to go into names because they like their privacy and don't like to be fawned over. I am also keeping the victim's name to myself because I want to respect who he was in life, not in the tragic end.

When people become so trapped in fear they can't see the way out, they fall into a mindset that is erratic. They can not see that love is all around them, and in performing the terrible feat of suicide they don't realize how much they hurt all those people.  Sometimes, they even feel that they must kill themselves to stop hurting others. The reality of it is, he was afraid. No one caused the fear; he himself allowed the fear to consume him. I feel great sorrow for the desperation that lead to his death.

“As anyone who has been close to someone that has committed suicide knows, there is no other pain like that felt after the incident” ~Peter Greene

Those who knew and cared for him are now playing the "what if" game. "What if I did this," or "I only wish  I saw it coming," become common phrases for the ones trying to cope with the act. Suicide is selfish. It is a direct response to fear. It is the result of completely turning inward and having no regard for those around them. When I hear the stories of this man, they are not of a selfish man. The stories are of a fun-loving, scattered individual who was loved by his family and friends.

      “If you throw someone a life preserver, and they turn around and swim away from it; what can you do but let them drown themselves.” ~anon.

I lost a cousin years ago to suicide. I can remember vividly the last time I saw him before death. He came into the room I was in and said,"I just wanted to say goodbye." He then turned to leave, did a double-take, almost came back, but shook his head in decision and left. His name was Carlos and he suffered the pain of depression. His life was very hard, but when you thought of him, he was fun-loving, sometimes scattered, and loved by his family and friends. Months later, I was staying at my parents' home in the darkest bedroom in the house. In that room I saw a bodiless aura form, and intuituvely, I knew it was Carlos. My mind flooded with the knowledge that I needed to get a message to his mother. The message was, "I am in a better place now." The opportunity presented itself a few weeks later. I began to prepare her for the message by finding out her beliefs and then came my chance. "I saw Carlos," I told her. She paused and then asked, "Is he in a better place?"

He is in a better place, as is my friend's friend. Here, they were both trapped in their fears, struggling with them daily. There they are embraced in unconditional love without fear. They can rest from their pains and feel the ecstacy of the pure God/Universe. The best way to honor them both is to not dwell upon the fear they represented in the end, but focus on the fun, loving, sometimes scattered friend they were in life. Another way to honor them is to live your life as fun, loving, and joyful, because that is how they liked you best.

To my most dear friends in pain today: I love you and always will. Find joy in the times you shared. Don't give power to the fear that took him by reliving what he did.

"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man." ~Rabindranath Tagore

Yesterday morning as I drove my six-year-old to school he asked me to sing the "Old Lady Swallowing a Fly" song. If you don't know the song your life is incomplete. In the song she progressively eats something larger to catch the one before. After each is swallowed you sing the whole list. At the end of the song it ends with her dying after eating a horse. Kynan and I have a game we play where we add to the song and keep getting bigger and bigger things. Yesterday we had added: a dump truck, the earth, the galaxy, and the sun, when I declared, "Nothing's bigger than the sun." "Nyah-uh," Kynan responded,"Two things are bigger."  When I asked what was bigger he told me the universe and God were bigger. So I asked ,"God is bigger than the whole universe?" "Yes, 'cause God told me he is  everywhere," he continued. "Is God in my coffee?" I asked. "No" was his reply. "He is in you and everybody and we control the God Part inside of us." So obviously God is within each of us . . . but not in coffee. 

"We control the God Part inside us" ~Kynan Davis

“What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.” ~Julia Cameron

It seems of late that God is asking me to define my relationship with my spirituality as it pertains to money. I had to come to grips with the fact I was also deserving of God's abundance while doing his/her works. It is a tight rope to walk in this world. Most of the world has a belief that spiritual people devote their lives to God and that means to live without means. This concept is a throwback to a much different place and time. India today has many spiritual leaders. Each of these leaders is clothed fed and housed by benefactors or by their followers. In biblical days, Jeshua was befriended by Matthew, a wealthy tax collector, Lazarus a wealthy landowner, and Joseph of Aramathea, a wealthy landowner who at the end of Jeshua's life paid for his body and placed it in his own tomb. Jeshua was clothed, housed and fed.

Our modern society does not function in the same way. Priests recieve salaries. Famous spiritual speakers recieve payments. Spiritual readers charge by the hour. I recently found myself once again looking at my debts. From month to month I was never sure if I could pay all the bills. Oh, sure the rent got paid but others sometimes had to wait. I realize as a creator of my own experience that it must be  a belief of my own that has caused my struggle with my finances. I began to search within for my blockages. I discovered two things in my search. The first was that I associated spirituality with poverty, and the second was that I didn't think I could control my finances. You see, I was raised in a poverty mentality. My family struggled for money and I was told repeatedly by an unknowing father that I was a "bum" and "worthless."  So my belief system was that I couldn't achieve financial success.

Recently I decided I needed to break free from the bonds of poverty and I put some things out on Facebook. First I decided that the two bedroom apartment I was living in was too small for me, my son, my fiancee, two cats, and an elderly aunt of my fiancee's that we were going to be taking in soon. So I asked for help. I asked in the form of a posting on Facebook. I suggested that if each of my Facebook friends would give me twenty dollars I could raise the downpayment for the house we needed. The response was quite interesting. A couple people were offended that I would even ask. Several people actually helped out and most ignored the posting.

So I asked myself again is it my belief system that led to the response. I concluded it must be, as I am the creator of my own experience as all the Avatars have said. So I also posted a reduced rate for my spiritual phone sessions. the first response was someone asking me why I even charge for them. I responded that I had dedicated my life to spiritual work and that I also needed to cover the material expenses that our society creates. I was supported by several people. I am most proud of my nephew who eloquently came to my rescue.

Then a posting came on my blogpost "John of New~John of Peniel," once again questioning my material gain from spiritual work. I fell to the words I fall to most, "God is Love." If God truly is Love then He/She would never want any of us to suffer poverty. God is the ultimate abundance and the Peniel experience is one of realizing that you are a part of God and He/She works in and through you without limitation. I AM abundant. I AM financially secure. I AM Loved by God and I AM confident that God will provide.

Our world dictates that we must have roofs over our heads, food on our table and clothes upon our backs. The only way to achieve those material items is to have an income. I am blessed in my life to witness miraculous healings, and though I do not take the credit for the healings I have given up alot of gainful work to facilitate healings. My choice of career is spiritual. My choice in the material world is now financial security. I am blessed to be the creator of that experience and am moving forward in great joyful anticipation and in full faith that God/Universe will provide in abundant ways, that I may indeed continue my spiritual mission undistracted.

Thank You
Thank You
Thank You